There is something that separates an average communicator from a good one, a good one from a great one, and a great one from an incredible one. What do you think it is?
- Practice?
- Research?
- Statistics?
- Clever wordplay?
- Experience?
No one in their right mind would head into a speech or interview without at least a little bit of practice. Many men have fallen on their faces by heading into environments with no research or statistics to support them. Clever wordplay is a sure fire way to grab the audience by the ear when nothing else will work. Very few things can fine tune a person’s communication skills like experience.
Unfortunately, none of those are the magic ingredient. Earth shattering confidence is the key to the puzzle. Self-confidence magnifies your abilities one hundred times over.
Client Example
In 2007 a client approached me with a concern. He was about to graduate college with an Aerospace Engineering degree. Instead of being happy that graduation was on the horizon he was afraid of what lay before him in the interview process.
His strengths were numerous. He was smart, diligent, resourceful, and he worked harder than hard working.
To ease his pain I decided to go through the mock interview process with him. On the way to the interview location he was loose and warm. As soon as we closed the door to the interview room he tightened up. His sentences became more and more incoherent, his hands were drawn to an invisible magnet right behind the skin on his face, and he furiously tapped the table in between questions.
After watching him struggle for 30 minutes we took a break. Before we re-started the session I asked him what the problem was. I refused to accept his immediate answer of “I don’t know”. We sat in silence. He looked at me. I looked at him. He looked at me. I looked at him. He looked at me some more and I returned the favor to him. Finally, after 2 minutes of intense facial examination he revealed that he was uncomfortable promoting himself and felt that he didn’t deserve the position.
The cat was out of the bag. I let him know that he would never land a job worth his time with that attitude. I explained that his feelings of inadequacy were dragging the rest of his skills into the sewer. We discussed this point further and returned to the mock interview process.
3 hours passed before the session closed. With each passing minute I could see his confidence growing. His answers were sharp and crisp. He stopped tapping the table. At one point he even cracked a smile while answering a question. As far as I knew the issue was solved.
The night before the interview I got a call.
“I’m nervous” a barely audible voice said over the phone.
“Don’t be. You’re the star. You have the skills. So make them feel like they are missing out if you are not brought on board. Relax, get your clothes together, and go to sleep” I said into the receiver.
“Ok” he muttered back in response.
8 days later my client called back. This time he sounded different. He had received and accepted the offer. My advice to relax, be himself, and show confidence paid off just as I said it would.
Conclusion
Many things go into a person’s communication skills. Practice, research, wordplay, structure, and a sound knowledge base all play important roles in a person’s effectiveness as a communicator. These things alone are not enough. Confidence and hope magnify these skills to tremendous proportions.
If you don’t believe me ask the Aerospace Engineer who designs your airplanes.
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